| A Poem I made a Year Ago | |
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Is it funny? | No way you loser! | | 0% | [ 0 ] | No, but good try. | | 33% | [ 1 ] | A little bit. | | 33% | [ 1 ] | Yes. | | 33% | [ 1 ] | Abosolutley! I LOVE YOU! | | 0% | [ 0 ] | ....... | | 0% | [ 0 ] |
| Total Votes : 3 | | |
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Kritten Admin
Number of posts : 8780 Roleplay Name : Kitty Kitz Awards :
| Subject: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:17 am | |
| I made this in 8th grade and I think it's pretty funny.
Can’t stay Up
I have a problem, It’s hard to figure out. If you ever fall asleep in class, You know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.
I don’t know why I’m drowsy. I wake up rather quick. I go to bed at nine-thirty. Maybe I’m sick.
Maybe school is the problem, My teacher is super boring. Before she got my attention, Now she has me snoring.
Nothing is working out! I’ve tried eating lots of sugary toffee, But I just fell right asleep. I even tried coffee!
I can’t stay up! When it’s getting deep, I am out of luck, And I fall asleep… | |
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35bell Moderator
Number of posts : 5158 Roleplay Name : Genna Song
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| Subject: Re: A Poem I made Up a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:22 am | |
| I'm absolutely like that! Very good though! | |
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Eternal Silence Admin
Number of posts : 6205 Roleplay Name : Arden Auiban Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 12:40 pm | |
| Teehee. It's a funny poem. Only thing I have to point out is that your meter is a little off. Like, in the second stanza, - Quote :
- I don’t know why I’m drowsy.
I wake up rather quick. I go to bed at nine-thirty. Maybe I’m sick.
The last line throws it off a little bit because "maybe" is only two syllables. A better word might be "possibly." Like so: - Quote :
- I don’t know why I’m drowsy.
I wake up rather quick. I go to bed at nine-thirty. Possibly I’m sick.
You see what I mean? Other than that, it's really good. I giggled out loud, because that sounds like something I would do. | |
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Sanaka*~ Master Farmer
Number of posts : 1301 Roleplay Name : Frederik Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 2:09 pm | |
| NUUU teach me teach me teach me DD:
YOURS IS SOOOO GOOD... It has good emotions and it's funny ^_^
I can never do that .... Mine are always sad dark and stuff whenever i try to create a happy-fun like it turns out weirdly and i end up tearing the paper with that poema apart ._. | |
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Kritten Admin
Number of posts : 8780 Roleplay Name : Kitty Kitz Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:01 pm | |
| - Eternal Silence wrote:
- Teehee. It's a funny poem. Only thing I have to point out is that your meter is a little off. Like, in the second stanza,
- Quote :
- I don’t know why I’m drowsy.
I wake up rather quick. I go to bed at nine-thirty. Maybe I’m sick.
The last line throws it off a little bit because "maybe" is only two syllables. A better word might be "possibly." Like so:
- Quote :
- I don’t know why I’m drowsy.
I wake up rather quick. I go to bed at nine-thirty. Possibly I’m sick.
You see what I mean?
Other than that, it's really good. I giggled out loud, because that sounds like something I would do. I see what you mean, but I wasn't trying to write in an iambic way. I intentionaly put it there to mess up the poem to show how messed up I am. | |
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Eternal Silence Admin
Number of posts : 6205 Roleplay Name : Arden Auiban Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:11 pm | |
| Yeah, I know. XD I'm such a formatting Nazi, plus I'm OCD, I just had to point it out. Sorry. I knew it wasn't an iambic poem. | |
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gothica800 Banned
Number of posts : 4632
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:12 pm | |
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Eternal Silence Admin
Number of posts : 6205 Roleplay Name : Arden Auiban Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:15 pm | |
| It stands for "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder." | |
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Kritten Admin
Number of posts : 8780 Roleplay Name : Kitty Kitz Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:16 pm | |
| - Eternal Silence wrote:
- Yeah, I know. XD I'm such a formatting Nazi, plus I'm OCD, I just had to point it out. Sorry. I knew it wasn't an iambic poem.
Okay. That reminds me I hate analizing poems.... | |
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gothica800 Banned
Number of posts : 4632
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:16 pm | |
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Eternal Silence Admin
Number of posts : 6205 Roleplay Name : Arden Auiban Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:21 pm | |
| I spent three weeks in a writing camp, and one of those weeks was completely dedicated to poetry, and analyzing it. It's EMBEDDED IN MY BRAIN NOW. DX *slams palm against one ear trying to make poetry analysis part of brain fall out of other ear* | |
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gothica800 Banned
Number of posts : 4632
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:24 pm | |
| *rolls eyes* "i have a friend with ADD, and ii have ADD." | |
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Kritten Admin
Number of posts : 8780 Roleplay Name : Kitty Kitz Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:24 pm | |
| I've tried that, it doesn't work. It won't come out! Dx | |
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gothica800 Banned
Number of posts : 4632
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:27 pm | |
| "you can't get rid of that kinda stuff, it's permanent." | |
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Kritten Admin
Number of posts : 8780 Roleplay Name : Kitty Kitz Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:28 pm | |
| That's what makes it burn! DX | |
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Eternal Silence Admin
Number of posts : 6205 Roleplay Name : Arden Auiban Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:30 pm | |
| Pfft. Don't I know it. XD Now I'm driving my friends crazy in my language arts class, because I point stuff out. OCD plus poetry analysis skills...not good. Especially because no one in my class really likes poetry enough to make it iambically correct. DX | |
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Kritten Admin
Number of posts : 8780 Roleplay Name : Kitty Kitz Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:32 pm | |
| But it's fun for it to be incorrect. I have that same problem with essays. Somethings just bug me like improper citations or odd transitions. | |
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gothica800 Banned
Number of posts : 4632
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:33 pm | |
| "yeah well i used to get big, fat, ugly, F's in math!" | |
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Eternal Silence Admin
Number of posts : 6205 Roleplay Name : Arden Auiban Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:36 pm | |
| My friends make fun of me because if I see a grammar or spelling mistake on an essay for class or something, and for whatever reason I can't fix it, I'll freak out.
I HAVE PROBLEMSSSSSSS, OKAY? D: | |
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Kritten Admin
Number of posts : 8780 Roleplay Name : Kitty Kitz Awards :
| Subject: Re: A Poem I made a Year Ago Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:37 pm | |
| Sometimes if I miss a coma I put it in with a black pen. xD | |
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| A Poem I made a Year Ago | |
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