I'm having a really hard time with this...

LAKJFLDHFSDJFH.


I don't like food. That's... pretty much it. I do not like food.

I eat when people put me under a microscope, sure. I'd rather swallow voluntarily than have 'em shove it down my throat. But...sheesh. I have such a bad self-esteem. :/

I eat apples a lot. And fruits, and stuff. But I'm still losing weight. I've cut back my gym time...but I don't like eating food. And that frustrates me.

And there's a lot of other bad stuff going on in my life right now... for example, my friend died two weeks ago, and I'm having a really hard time with that. My friends are completely shutting me out. Instead of emotionally eating, I don't eat when I'm stressed. I'd rather run.

I've had a horrible self-esteem for most of my life. And when cruel kids at school call you fat to your face... it doesn't exactly help. I don't think I'm nessecarily fat, though... even size six jeans are too big on me. I'm not exactly a twig, but I'm not fat, in my opinion. I'm normal. but when people tell me I'm fat, or start comparing me to these beautiful women, or I start comparing myself to beautiful women... it's bad.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I'm just so frustrated and stressed out and ARGH.

In my next message will explain everything.

Take your time to calm down and ignore what other people say. Eat more things than fruit. Eat meat or chicken or something. You need to take care of your health. Be confident of yourself. Thinking about your friend's death is going to hold you back from the future. It's depressing losing someone you care about. Your friend wants you to move on further in your life. Take your time and think about these words I am telling you.