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 | Subject: Authorities name Wolf prime suspect in ‘hood’ mystery (A made-up news article.)  Sun Sep 27, 2009 3:22 am | |
| Nice, yet another story-thing that has Red in it. Red must be in my head controlling my thoughts. xD There are three puns in here. If you PM them to me I'll write a comment about how awesome you are after the news story I made up. Authorities name Wolf prime suspect in ‘hood’ mystery
Wolf murdered Grandma Riding hood and attacked her grandchild Little Red in small town Harvest Dreams, Australia. Part of Wolf Gang conspiracy that has preyed on civilians worldwide.
On September 22, 2009 Little Red Riding hood is visiting her grandma like she does every Tuesday. “I walked in my grandma’s house, but she didn’t look like herself,” exclaims Little Red, age 17. Before she knew it the wolf, dressed like her grandma, attacks her.
Police suggest that from her mother’s baking fame made Little Red and her Grandma targets to the Wolf Gang. Little Red visits her Grandma every Tuesday, making investigators predict that the Wolf Gang plans ambushes on their targets.
Detective Roo, lead inspector of the Wolf Gang, shows concern for the increasing amount of Wolf Gang attacks. “There have been more Wolf Gang attacks every week,” states Detective Roo. “Last month we busted another wolf for impersonating a sheep at a flock party. Who knows what would have happened if we didn’t arrive in time.”
Not only did the Wolf Gang attacked Little Red and murdered her grandmother on Tuesday. Police indicted Wolf Gang member, Mozart, for disturbance of playing classical music too loud outside the home of the three little pigs. Fortunately police arrive quickly stopping the wolf before the banging end of the ‘Ode to Joy.’
Unfortunately, police lack ability to predict next wolf attack. Bobby Fisher, parent of two, shows concern for future Wolf Gang attacks. “Before attacking normal adults was scary enough, “ explains Bobby Fisher, “but now that they are attacking children I’m worried that letting them out to play isn’t safe anymore.”
Suggestions police make for maximum protection against wolf attacks include; always locking doors, traveling in large groups, and carrying a cell phone to contact police. Also check housing material, for wolves are notorious for huffing and puffing and blowing houses down. They advise avoiding staying out late too. People worldwide follow these simple steps shielding them from Wolf Gang attacks. | |
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