__Betrayal__

((YAY! Just another one of Eternal's sucky made-in-a-minute poems. XD Enjoy anyways; just keep in mind that this is a really, really bad poem and I'm not actually that serious about/proud of it. ^^))

The truth is written beyond your eyes
It’s time I stopped the madness, the lies
Why am I never enough for you?
Why am I able to see right through?

Your charades are aged and tiring
Leave me here, inquiring
As to why that diminutive voice
Encouraged you to make the wrong choice

Cheater, cheater, liar, liar
The only thing I feel is ire
You broke my heart; but I’m to blame
My heart was open for you to claim

I regret it now; I know it’s true
Relief is all I get from you
Am I a burden? A ball and chain?
Where there was sunshine, now there is rain

No matter. I’m a big girl now
I’ll be more wary with what I allow
I’ll pick up the pieces of my heart
Now that you’re gone, I’ll make a new start

"i think it's awesome you might be able to be a poet!"

Despite the numerous poems I post here, I'm actually not that interested in poetry. I don't like to actually sit down and write stories sometimes, though, so my poems are creative vents so my head doesn't explode. XD

But thanks for the compliment! It gives me the warm fuzzies! *hugs self*

"no problem, what're friends for?"

I like your word choice. It makes me feel happy on the inside. The fact that you think your poems are not good is a conundrum to me.

I am a vocabulary nerrrrrd. But I usually only use my big-girl words when I'm really, really angry or upset, or if I'm really into what I'm writing. XD

And...geez, I don't think it's any good. O.o Maybe it has to do with the fact that I went from zero to DONE in about three seconds. XD I don't like to edit poems. So this is a pretty raw version.

Raw poems are the best cause they are fresh.
They capture true emotion.

Which is why I don't like to edit them. I don't like that "processed" kinda sense that comes with combing over my stuff.

"i'm not to good at proofing either." XD

Well, I'm pretty good at proofing, I just don't like to do it. XD

Eternal Silence wrote:

Well, I'm pretty good at proofing, I just don't like to do it. XD

I like proofing other peoples writings, in which I can be cruel.

you're really my idol!!
I like your poems and stories! I think i'll never be good like you..
btw,
more power and goodluck!

moonlighto3 wrote:

you're really my idol!!
I like your poems and stories! I think i'll never be good like you..
btw,
more power and goodluck!

Don't give up! ES just has had more practice than you, it doesn't mean you'll never be as good as her.

moonlighto3 wrote:

you're really my idol!!
I like your poems and stories! I think i'll never be good like you..
btw,
more power and goodluck!

D'awww~ I don't think anyone's ever called me their idol before! That's so sweet! Thanks!

And I'm sure you're just fine. Like Kitty said, I do have a lot of practice. I've been writing since practically before I could talk, and I've taken workshops and stuff to improve. Just keep writing, and don't be afraid to ask for help, and don't be afraid of critique. If you ever want a second opinion on your stories, you can always PM me! ^^

12kittycat1214 wrote:

moonlighto3 wrote:

you're really my idol!!
I like your poems and stories! I think i'll never be good like you..
btw,
more power and goodluck!

Don't give up! ES just has had more practice than you, it doesn't mean you'll never be as good as her.

thanks! i promise i'll practice more!

Eternal Silence wrote:

moonlighto3 wrote:

you're really my idol!!
I like your poems and stories! I think i'll never be good like you..
btw,
more power and goodluck!

D'awww~ I don't think anyone's ever called me their idol before! That's so sweet! Thanks!

And I'm sure you're just fine. Like Kitty said, I do have a lot of practice. I've been writing since practically before I could talk, and I've taken workshops and stuff to improve. Just keep writing, and don't be afraid to ask for help, and don't be afraid of critique. If you ever want a second opinion on your stories, you can always PM me! ^^

Thanks! I promise i'll practice more to be like my idol! ok! bye!