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 Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress)

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harvestangel14
Fledging Farmer
Fledging Farmer
harvestangel14


Female Number of posts : 141
Roleplay Name : Kathy

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PostSubject: Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress)   Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress) EmptyMon Oct 20, 2008 12:14 am

(The main character of the story is Sandy (Claire) and the pairing is ClairexGray. The POV is thrid person, but i might change it)

Rain splashed in puddles outside the cave, thunder booming in the distance. There was no way they’d make it through that rain without being drenched. It would be better to wait.

“Are you okay, Sandy? You’re shivering,” Grey murmured into her ear, hugging her closer. A sudden flash of lightning scared her, and she curled her arms around his back and pressed her face into his chest. His arms held her gently, but protectively. “What’s wrong?”

“I love storms,” Sandy whispered back, her voice sodden through and through with fear. “Just not when there’s lightning. It’s always scared me. I can’t stand it.” Another flash of lightning caused her to cringe closer into his warm arms. “I’m sorry.”

“No need,” Grey said, softly, warmly, holding her tightly. She felt so safe in his arms. So safe. Maybe not perfectly, but definitely safe. Safer than if they’d sat side by side, or if her dad had been hugging her. Because Grey was different.

“Why did you choose me?” She asked suddenly, her voice sounding more confused and worried than scared now. “Why not Mary?”

“Let me tell you what I was looking for,” He suggested, blowing softly into her ear. She leaned into him as he spoke. “I wanted someone I could walk on the beach with. Watch the stars with and not care that there’s constellations. Take a walk with on Mother’s Hill, and not stop to see what plants are useful for. Someone who loves their family as much as I love mine. Someone who will love me for who I am, not for who they want to see.”

“That’s poetic,” Sandy mumbled, smiling into the fabric of his shirt.

Grey hesitated, then asked, “Why did you choose me?”

“Because you make me feel special,” Sandy admitted, her face burning. But it felt right, telling him this. He deserved to know. Thunder boomed out loud, and she waited for it to end before continuing. “You’re different than the others. You are all very different, but for me, you stand out in the crowd. Let me explain it like this. You would each give different gifts to me. Kai would give me something he cooked, something fit to be eaten in the summer. Cliff might give me something useful, like a knife or some exotic fur. Rick would give me eggs or chickens or something. Alex would give me some kind of medicine or herbal tea.

“But you, Grey, you’d give me something special,” She continued, her voice full of feeling. “You’d dig in the mines for some exotic and beautiful gem, for an interesting ore. You’d make something for me, like a necklace or something, or you’d just say something sweet. You make me feel. . . .wow. You make me feel amazing when you smile. When you cry, it breaks my heart and I want to soothe you until you’ll smile, just so it can take my breath away again. You’re different, Grey.”

The two were silent as the storm progressed. They held each other, think about what the other had said. The rain was louder now, so had they spoken, they would not have hard each other. But that didn’t matter. The looks in their eyes was enough. It communicated what needed to be. The fact they loved each other.


There, that's an excerpt towards the end fo the pairing. What do you think?
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Kritten
Admin
Admin
Kritten


Female Number of posts : 8780
Roleplay Name : Kitty Kitz
Awards : Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress) Badge

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PostSubject: Re: Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress)   Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress) EmptySun Dec 28, 2008 4:24 am

It was pretty good. It was a good idea to bring the gift thing up. I give it 4/5 stars. ^^
(I'm a tough critic too.)
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foxtail616
Master Farmer
Master Farmer
foxtail616


Female Number of posts : 1445
Roleplay Name : Fox
Awards : Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress) Foxtail-1

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PostSubject: Re: Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress)   Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress) EmptySun Dec 28, 2008 7:29 pm

I love it!
Let us know if you think of an ending ^.^
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gothica800
Banned
Banned
gothica800


Female Number of posts : 4632

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PostSubject: Re: Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress)   Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress) EmptySun Dec 28, 2008 8:36 pm

"Wow so we have something in common we write books."
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http://www.freewebs.com/shadowheaven
foxtail616
Master Farmer
Master Farmer
foxtail616


Female Number of posts : 1445
Roleplay Name : Fox
Awards : Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress) Foxtail-1

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PostSubject: Re: Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress)   Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress) EmptyTue Dec 30, 2008 1:56 am

oh cool you write books?
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PostSubject: Re: Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress)   Harvest Moon: Sandy's Story (Excerpts for the Work-In Progress) Empty

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